So after a colossal waste of time and effort I learned what I thought was the cause of the server slowness wasn’t the actual cause. I’m going to have to continue the investigation in to that. Though, the plus side of the days of nothing actually working was that it got me to upgrade both PHP and MySQL. Those two are once again playing nice with one another. Now if I can find out why the server is butt slow to respond to things (which is annoying because the Webmail interface is faster than ever – so there is some weird calls going on somewhere involivng MySQL or PHP or some combination there of). Well at least I’ve eliminated a bunch of potential causes, so maybe I’ll discover the problem in due time.